Mary Lindow ~"The Messenger Blog"

Friday, September 25, 2026

"The Longing And Aching Deep Within Your Heart"

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16 Minutes of Encouragement!

By Mary Lindow

MY HUSBAND STEVE AND I HAVE MORE OFTEN AS OF LATE HAD

SUCH A STIRRING AND AN ACHING IN OUR HEARTS.

We've had a need, to talk over and deeply ponder many “questions of the heart” and have spent hours in dialog then crying out in messy prayers to the Father, shedding many tears, much of them in unintelligible sobs and choked out words.

The World is in an absolute Turmoil!! Lives are in shattered grief!

Sound familiar?

WE’VE WEPT AND PRAYED...

...For those who are forever stirring up and demanding others to “push, to give, sacrifice” —serve "me", do for "ME", give more at the job! And yet, many of these individuals who push others so terribly hard, hide internal rage and insecurities, not heeding the warnings about their own home life and poor social practices, nor dealing with the seething anger and strife boiling within their souls. And, all too often they project shame onto others, bullying them, then demand respect regardless of what needs to be addressed in their own behaviors.

THIS IS WHERE TRAVAILING PRAYER COMES IN.

Where you "gut it out with God", standing before Him in what is called supplication.

Or, in more clear words, it's an appeal, a request for help.

"HELP OH GOD! HELP! Only YOU can address this person, this situation"!

OH THE TONGUE! IT IS A FIRE!

The tongue represents the world of wrongdoing among the parts of our bodies.

It pollutes the entire body and sets fire to the course of human existence

-- And it is set on fire by hell.

-James 3:6

Steve's and my little piece of trying to warn about and address these things as we minister in various places and gatherings, and also meeting people for ministry advice, comfort in child rearing in a nasty digital age, and in pastoral counseling, well, we are seeing a massive escalation of many families fighting (young and old).

A STEADY STREAM OF PEOPLE RESISTING THE TAKING OF “HUMBLE STEPS”

towards the change that would spare others deep wounds.

We are also learning to be even more careful about our own words.

WE LIVE IN A WORLD THAT IS PASSING AWAY.

Every day this occurs and it edges us closer to the time of choosing whom we serve....

...Not whom we "casually have knowledge of" or a limited commitment to.

I’M EVER SO AWARE OF THE NEED TO LIVE, LIMP, TO EXSIST,

EACH MOMENT OF THE DAY IN "THE PRESENCE",

IN FULL EXPOSURE TO THE PROBING EYE AND HEART OF GOD.

I WHISPER REPEATEDLY,

“Have your way Father.

Have your freedom to do your work in me.

Have your way.”

ARE YOU BEING DRAWN INTO A PLACE OF DESPERATE ABANDON TO SEPARATE YOURSELF AND RE-EXAMINE THE PATH UP AHEAD?

Friend, yield to the tears, the examination and probing of your heart, and speak out to the Father about all of it.

ALL OF IT.

THESE ARE THE DAYS WHERE YOU AND I CAN “CHOOSE.”

Chose to grow, move forward, and live simpler and choose to travel along narrower paths.

Draw back and remain dull, returning to the familiar and comfortable settings where WE “choose” to steer the course of our hearts.

There’s no humility there friend.

None.

Just self-protection, empty of any real mature, repentance.

WHEN THIS HAPPENS, RELATIONSHIPS DRASTICALLY CHANGE.

People go into hiding, isolation, numb living, compartmentalization, and they “shut out” help.

CHOOSE THE WAY WHERE "PEACE LEADS YOU".

Even when torrents of tears and unanswered longings are prevalent.

Keep letting go of “fears within and fears without” until your stride is firm and has consistent sweet conversation with the one called alongside to help.

THE VERY HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD IS A WONDERFUL TRAVELING COMPANION!

The heavy judgments of those who rarely risk authenticity and carefully orchestrate their control over what they allow to penetrate past their insecurities and pride, are fully engaged in denial and can absolutely be ruthless and punishing.

Let them be surrendered to God my friends.

Hand the entire setting over to Him and then, go about the humble work of digging new wells for those who value the effort that it takes. They will so appreciate the cool cup of water that you serve them in the loving name of our Redeemer Jesus.

Samuel Chadwick was a deep man of prayer, and learned how to not only stay "in it", but was know for "sticking to it".

He said:

"There is no way of learning to pray but by praying.

No reasoned philosophy of prayer ever taught a soul to pray.

We know not what we should pray for as we ought ot, and if prayer waits for understanding it will never begin.

We discover by using. We learn by practice.

Though a man should have all knowledge about prayer, and though he should understand all mysteries about prayer, unless he prays he will never learn to pray."

JESUS HIMSELF GAVE US A KEY MESSAGE ABOUT THIS!

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to walk alongside with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.” - John 14:16-17

OH DEAR ACHING HEARTS!

PRAYER! Let's stay at it! Stay in it!

Let's Stay in it until we are saturated in His Peace, His Presence and His Strength to Stand in Courage, and then...

...To Continue!

Duplication and sharing of this message is welcomed provided that complete article, Podcast link and website information
for Mary Lindow is included.
Thank You!

www.marylindow.com

https://marylindow.podbean.com

IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER PRAYERFULLY OR HAVE BEEN IMPRESSED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT TO ASSIST MARY BY HELPING HER TO MEET OTHER ADMINISTRATIVE NEEDS SUCH AS WEBSITE, VIDEO TEACHINGS AND PODCAST COSTS, OR DESIRE TO BLESS HER SERVICE WITH LOVE GIFTS OR REGULAR SUPPORT:

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Wednesday, July 8, 2026

Choices VS. Consequences - "SELF HELP” - “NO HELP" - OR - GOD'S HELP

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( 22 minutes long)

By Mary Lindow

THERE’S SO MUCH COMING OUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA

FROM DIFFERENT KINDS OF PUBLICATIONS!

Strange doctrines, strange practicing of things and mixtures within Christianity that have become strange mixtures of belief in faith systems, and then there’s been a tremendous amount of deception and hiding.

And more often than not, whenever there’s deception in doctrine or the way people are lead, you can usually find that there’s a mishandling of funds.

So, we’re going to discuss some of the things that we need to have in place, in our lives!I need them, in order to be strong in the Lord in the power of his might, but also to walk wisely in this time!

TODAY’S PODCAST IS GOING TO JUST GET RIGHT AT IT SO HERE WE GO!

A seasoned and deep thinking friend and I had a phone conversation last week about what actual accountability and really being authentic looks like.

SO MANY INDIVIDUALS WANT TO "LEAD" AND "BE IN CHARGE",
but few have little space or time for feedback or equality of input from peers.
I’ve found out that most “Self Help” is “No Help” at all.

We can twist our own self treatments and assessments of things, and never really fully grow. Our souls like to have their own way and they fiercely resist honest confrontation and further personal work!

We can become “prickly” and feel that we are not needing perhaps any additional life-course corrections or two! And quite possibly, we can pull ourselves inward and shut out the things that we just don’t want to “unpack” and talk about. We actively avoid any word of warning or concern, even when delivered in gentleness and love.

WHEN THIS TYPE OF “LEAVE ME ALONE” BEHAVIOR OCCURS,
you can count on either being "dismissed" as an “inconvenient annoyance” to people not wanting you or others to mess up their patterns, or in an even more passive but still aggressive move, you will be avoided, ignored, or simply have the standard “nothing is wrong, I’m just fine”, behaviors take place, in order to not stir up people’s familiar, comfortable, but sadly dysfunctional patterns of operating and denying the need for healthy input.

ULTIMATELY, WE REALLY CAN'T "FIX" ANYONE.
But we can have the insights and counsel from those whom we know and challenge us to not be emotionally entangled by the sadness that can swirl around your heart when cruelties and denial shut the door on honest and humble dialog.

These dear mentors and teachers of truth, like the dear women I glean from (whom I trust explicitly to be gracious yet firm with me), are not competitive or overbearing. They just know the reality of what takes place when you choose not to continue to grow upwards and shows it outwards in how we treat others.

What Is REAL Accountability?
It's the willingness to let go of our "cloaking devices" and then intentionally allow godly individuals, applying wise, poised counsel, the open access to our tightly confined ways of functioning, and learning how to be set free from destructive thinking and dysfunctional behaviors.

Introverts and Extroverts Both Have Ways
That They Can Actively Ignore or Avoid This Work of Maturing.

WHEN THE DEEPER WORK IN OUR SOUL IS AVOIDED...
...after there have been some seasons of good personal work and change take place, it’s what Jesus talked about when he was teaching and mentoring his disciples, and telling them about how the “word seeds/ truth seeds” that he teaches about and plants into us, will only produce adult maturity/fruit, IF it’s allowed to be sown into the deeper places of our souls.

SOME INDIVIDUALS CHOOSE TO GROW WHEN THINGS “FEEL BETTER”

BUT THEY ARE STILL IN CONTROL OF HOW FAR THEY CHOOSE TO SURRENDER TO OPTIMUM GROWTH.

That’s how the cares of our lives and our love for justifying our accumulated ways of thinking, living, avoiding and fretting, strangle or choke out our “putting down deeper roots” of maturing into adulthood. (Yes! Adulting!)

And so... we therefore, live in “selective truth” about ourselves.

This causes stalled and dwarfed growth where weeds rapidly entangle the healthy growth we were experiencing, and if not tended to, these weeds and “life controls and cares” choke out fully mature fruit.

Matthew 13:20-23 says,
“Then Jesus spoke his disciples.
Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead.
You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am.

Don’t run from suffering; embrace it.

Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all.

Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.

What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself?

What could you ever trade your soul for?”

WHEN YOU FIRST GO AGAINST YOUR CONSCIENCE in some area of your life, you feel it. It’s an “unpleasant nagging feeling” that what you did was wrong.

At that point, you will either submit to your conscience, (the conviction of God’s Holy Spirit), and do the right thing, or you will resist your conscience (the conviction of God’s Holy Spirit), and willingly once again, choose to brush it off and choose to go against it.

THAT IS A CRITICAL MISTAKE!
By going against our conscience (the conviction of God’s Holy Spirit), we risk losing our bearings and reaping a whirlwind of consequences, due to wrong choices! God’s word clearly tells us how our hearts can deceive themselves!

Proverbs 21: 2 says,
"ALL A MAN’S WAYS SEEM RIGHT TO HIM, BUT THE LORD WEIGHS THE HEART”.

Psalm 36:2 tells us,
"In their own eyes they flatter themselves too much to detect or hate their sin."

SELF DECEPTION WILL CONVINCE PEOPLE
THAT THEY DON’T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR WRONGDOING, WRONG WORDS, WRONG EXPECTATIONS OR WRONG SPIRITUAL ATTITUDES!

YOUR CONSCIENCE ACTS IN A WAY AS YOUR "PROSECUTING ATTORNEY." Whenever you go against what is good, your conscience will accuse you (con-vict you) and seek to convict you of your "crime."

It’s a blessing to sense that corrective conviction! We all need that in our lives!
Young people need it and so do adults.

Oh how hard it is to pay the financial, emotional and investing of time, “price” when it comes to facing our OWN issues! Gazillions of excuses are explained away as why we “just caaan’t” (won’t) take the time right now to be accountable to consistent help for our issues!

IS THIS IRRITATING TO LISTEN TO OR READ MY FRIENDS? Probably!😏

Without it, we are operating a highly advanced "computer" of the ever pleasure seeking soul/mind, without any firewall and without any protection against destructive behavior.

If this sense of entitlement or special treatment isn’t dealt with honestly and with a humility before God, and a person who cloaks their wickedness with spiritual piety yet expects to be treated “special” and expects that his/her wishes will be complied with, this expectation doesn't allow others to have different opinions, say no, or have needs.

If you refuse to do what they want, you will be threatened, told you aren’t “submissive enough”, blamed, and made to feel guilty for not “fawning over an entitled person’s need for adoration”, putting their needs first, and their excuses!

JESUS WAS CONSTANTLY AWARE OF WHAT WAS IN THE HEART OF THE PEOPLE THAT HE DEALT WITH! He knew when people were willing to hurt him, when people were insincere, when people were manipulating him, and when people were pretending. He is still aware!

PROUD PEOPLE don't think that they have anything to repent about!

BROKEN PEOPLE realize they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance.
PROUD PEOPLE don't think they need to be 100% accountable, but they are sure that everyone else does.

TRULY BROKEN PEOPLE (not just wounded people) continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God.

HONESTLY ASK GOD IF YOU ARE “STUCK IN LIFE” and continue to repeat cycles of behaviors in relationships.
He will help you see the weak places in your character, but He also comes alongside you to help you to break free, and no longer return to the places where familiarity keeps you stuck.

YOU WILL REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES AND BEHAVIORS
IF YOU CHOOSE TO REMAIN STUCK AND CONVINCED
THAT YOUR ACTIONS OR CHOICES DIDN’T CAUSE OTHERS TO SUFFER

FEEL MINIMIZED AND LESSER IN YOUR LIFE.

REPENTANCE IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL FRIENDS!
Deception always includes lies and/or broken promises.
Deception shatters dreams and hopes of what once was or what could have been, and it often involves multiple victims.
It’s a sin that always leaves pain in its wake, and can suffocate a person’s soul.

DECEPTION AFFECTS SELF-WORTH, OFTEN RESULTING IN SELF-BLAME.
Phrases such as, “How could I have been so stupid to be taken like this?”, are said over and over again. Our minds replay everything that was ever said and done in relationships, to find the “missing red flags”.

Self-blame and that “stupid feeling” are intensified when we tell others and then hear, “Well, I could have told you that this would happen” or, “I saw a lot of signs, but I knew you wouldn’t listen to me.”

Criticism, admonition, and judgment by others doesn’t help!

DECEPTION ALSO BRINGS FEELINGS OF GRIEF AND ANGER, OFTEN AT THE SAME TIME. People are angry to be deceived, but yet when that “someone” is a person they loved or had a close relationship with, this anger is often wrapped in grief.

We can be angry as a mad bull one second, and crying uncontrollably the next, and then kicking ourselves for crying over the person who caused the deception.
Needless to say, our emotions are all over the place!

JEREMIAH 9:6 SURE DOES SHOW THE ANGER GOD FEELS OVER DECEIT!!

It says,
“You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me,” declares the LORD.”

The Bible consistently portrays greed and deceit as sins that lead to spiritual death, divine judgment, and personal destruction. These narratives and teachings serve as a warning and serious reminder of the importance of integrity, honesty, and contentment in the life of a believer.

The Apostle Paul warns against greed and deceit in his letters.

In 1 Timothy 6:10, he writes,
“For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
By craving it, some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows."

Ephesians 4:25 advises,
“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body."

OUR REFUGE AND PLACE OF SAFETY ISN’T THE GROUND OR THE HOUSE WE TRY TO BUILD OURSELVES. It’s God Himself.

He doesn’t promise to stop every storm or patch every crack.

He promises to be present, right there in the middle of it, giving strength to keep going.
He’s not pacing, not panicked, not surprised.
He’s steady and strong.

Some of us walked into this morning, into this day, carrying anxiety, fear, exhaustion, trying to hold things together on our own.
The invitation of the Word of God is simple:
Let Go. Be still.

THE GOSPEL INVITES US TO LAY DOWN OUR BURDENS, NOT BE CRUSHED BY THEM; TO LET GOD BE GOD.
The same Jesus who calmed the sea can calm our hearts.

SO AS WE COME TO CONFESSION,
LET’S ADMIT THE WAYS WE’VE TRIED TO BE OUR OWN REFUGE.

Let’s trust in the One...
...who cannot be moved.

LET’S PRAY THIS PRAYER OF CONFESSION TOGETHER.

Father, we confess that when life shakes, our reflex is to grab control.

We try to fix it, to hold it together,
to build our own little fortresses of safety.

We confess how quickly we trust our plans more than your presence, our effort, more than your grace.

You have said, “Be still, and know that I am God,” but we have been restless and afraid. We’ve tried to be our own refuge instead of resting in You.

So right now, we bring our fear, our striving, and our unbelief into the light.
Forgive us, Lord, for the ways we’ve tried to stand on ground that cannot hold.

We confess these sins to You now in the quiet of this moment. Amen!

WELL! I HOPE THAT THIS GAVE YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT!

I think it’s something I need to think about as well. Often!

WE GET INTO THESE PLACES WHERE WITHOUT WISDOM we’re just kind of rowing a boat without oars, and then we try to improvise and use our hands and we find out we tire out, we get frustrated, we get overheated, and the passage of time is slow.

I encourage you in this time in the world that even though "hey!"..... People are saying things are getting better, and things are getting smarter, and better things are happening. I’m all for a positive attitude and a good heart and to speak hope to people, but I’m also highly aware of that darkness IS darkness, and the evil is evil, and the goal to take freedoms and joy, and hope, and biblical foundations away from people is a real plan.

It’s an enemy tactic, and other human beings are used to play it out.
So, the Lord‘s asking us to be the voices that play out truth, speak light into the darkness, and of course, keeping our own hearts clean, God can use us as vessels that can help lead others to that light.

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE THAT IS A HIDDEN DARK THING OR SOMETHING YOU’RE REALLY ASHAMED OF, and you’re afraid that if you tell someone else they’re going to “blabber it”somewhere else, well if it’s a criminal act, you need to go to the police with it, or you need to confess it! (That will help you get free from running and hiding, because eventually most criminals slip up and they slip up to the wrong people!)

Get legal counsel if you need to!
But in the end if it’s a sin against God, if it’s a sin against one of his people that has caused great pain or great anguish, there has to be repentance and yes, there has to be consequences. But! WHEN we confess our sins, there’s a grace and a peace that comes over us and a godly protection to help us to get through that discipline!

If you’ve been snarky or mean or rude or have pushed away people who have tried to love you and guide you, and for some reason you feel like you’re “the authority in your life on all things”, that tells me you’re prickly because of wounds in the past.

CALL UPON THE LORD!
Ask him to show you where you have shut your heart out and also perhaps there’s bitterness and unforgiveness in that nest of your heart. Ask the Lord to cleanse that out, a tenderness and a softness towards others and him, is necessary in order for you to advance and grow as a human being.

Relationships are messy!
People are messy!
But God is able to calm the storm of every mess, and he’s able to bring it into perspective if we’re willing to not have to hold the upper hand.

I ENCOURAGE YOU TODAY TO LET THE LORD WALK THROUGH

THOSE PARTS OF YOUR LIFE THAT YOU WALLED OFF TO OTHERS

OR WALLED OFF TO HIM.

NOW... IF THERE’S BEEN GREAT HARM DONE TO YOU BY OTHERS,

IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO GO TRY TO BUILD A BRIDGE.

IT’S YOUR JOB TO KEEP YOUR HEART RIGHT AND PRAY FOR THEM AND PRAY THAT THE LORD WILL CAUSE THEM TO HUMBLE THEMSELVES.

AS CHRISTIANS GOD‘S GOAL IS RECONCILIATION.
But, we have to all be willing to allow HIM, to be the great umpire.

I BLESS YOU TODAY, AND I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR NEXT PODCAST TOGETHER.

Goodbye for now!

Duplication and sharing of this message is welcomed provided that complete article, Podcast link and website information
for Mary Lindow is included.
Thank You!

www.marylindow.podbean.com

IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER PRAYERFULLY

OR HAVE BEEN IMPRESSED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT TO ASSIST MARY BY HELPING HER TO MEET OTHER ADMINISTRATIVE NEEDS SUCH AS WEBSITE, VIDEO TEACHINGS AND PODCAST COSTS, OR DESIRE TO BLESS HER SERVICE WITH LOVE GIFTS OR REGULAR SUPPORT: